||[Oct. 25th, 2005|08:16 pm]
|||||Land of the Dead||]|
It's been quite an eventful few weeks. Alot's been happening...in all aspects. First, school has been really getting to me. I've lost some of my drive to do my field. I don't know what it is, I'm not catching on as much as I'd like to be. I still like what I'm doing, but i feel like it's crushing my dreams into the ground more and more each day. I'm always asking questions, even about stuff I've already learned in the past. Plus, my computer isn't high end enough to do any real work at home, which really sets up a roadblock for my learning process cause I'd love to play with the programs on my own, but I can't. I don't make enough money, nor can I work the amount of hours I need to in order to make the money. Maybe I need a new job, maybe I should ask my parents for money, maybe i should take some money out of my financial aid. I dont know, but I gotta do something.
My love life has been very...interesting. A recent situation arose where my heart was broken and my trust was questioned. I don't feel the need to go into details out of respect for her. We're trying to work through it, and it's gonna be tough there's no denying that, but I'm optimistic that we can. The last time this happened to me I went into a psychotic rage, but this time was different. I don't know if it's the severity that affected my behavior or the persons involved, but this time it was different. I pretty much hated the previous person, but this time I still have strong feelings for. I feel as if there is something different about Heather, something I've never felt before. I truly, deeply, love her. I've talked to a few people about what happened and some couldn't believe I've decided to stay, but you know what, it doesn't matter. (No offense) I love her, and I trust her words when she says she's sorry. I've made mistakes too, and we've moved on from them and I'm willing to do the same. I can say I don't care for the person anymore that this happened with, but I'm not going to say anymore than that regarding to them. I'm also not saying what she did was acceptable, and if it happens again I won't be so forgiving, but I understand people make mistakes. People also learn from their mistakes, and I think that's been the case. I love you, I always will.