?

Log in

This Is The End... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
rayne_55321

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Rising from the ashes... [Jun. 9th, 2011|07:34 pm]
rayne_55321
[Current Location |United States, , ]
[Mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[Tunes |From Autumn To Ashes - Lilacs & Lolita]

 Wow, just realized I still have an active account. here. It's like a time capsule from 5-6 years ago. Insane to think how much has changed, how much I've grown as a person...as a man. The year is now 2011 and I'm 25 years old. I no longer look forward to my birthdays as much as I did when I was 17, 18, and 21. And, unfortunately, I've lost most contact with the people I was on here with. It's sad to think about, and I definitely had a moment of a depression when I reflected back. I met a lot of good people during my time that I posted here and I hope they are all well and successful these days. I wish them nothing but the best (if they ever read this). I haven't forgot you or the time we spent together in that crazy time. 

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I still write these 'journals' almost on a daily basis, just in notebook and artistic formats. I don't really make them public seeing as I got in so much trouble over them, and they are mainly just a means of self-evaluation. I did eventually graduate from the Art Institute of Pittsburgh in 2009 with my Bachelor of Science in VFX/ Motion Graphics. My greatest accomplishment so far. I'm entering my field (next week) by flying to Los Angeles to kick start my career in the Visual Effects industry. I want to work on cool projects, and I feel like I was meant to do this. Sooo yeah, I'm going for it! If you care to contact me, ANY ONE, my website is....
http://www.n8efx.com and my facebook profile is https://www.facebook.com/n8thagr8 , also check me out on Twitter (@N8_thA_gr8)

Much love bitches. See you on the other side. 

End of line.




For now ;)
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Oct. 25th, 2005|08:16 pm]
rayne_55321
[Mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[Tunes |Land of the Dead]

It's been quite an eventful few weeks. Alot's been happening...in all aspects. First, school has been really getting to me. I've lost some of my drive to do my field. I don't know what it is, I'm not catching on as much as I'd like to be. I still like what I'm doing, but i feel like it's crushing my dreams into the ground more and more each day. I'm always asking questions, even about stuff I've already learned in the past. Plus, my computer isn't high end enough to do any real work at home, which really sets up a roadblock for my learning process cause I'd love to play with the programs on my own, but I can't. I don't make enough money, nor can I work the amount of hours I need to in order to make the money. Maybe I need a new job, maybe I should ask my parents for money, maybe i should take some money out of my financial aid. I dont know, but I gotta do something.

My love life has been very...interesting. A recent situation arose where my heart was broken and my trust was questioned. I don't feel the need to go into details out of respect for her. We're trying to work through it, and it's gonna be tough there's no denying that, but I'm optimistic that we can. The last time this happened to me I went into a psychotic rage, but this time was different. I don't know if it's the severity that affected my behavior or the persons involved, but this time it was different. I pretty much hated the previous person, but this time I still have strong feelings for. I feel as if there is something different about Heather, something I've never felt before. I truly, deeply, love her. I've talked to a few people about what happened and some couldn't believe I've decided to stay, but you know what, it doesn't matter. (No offense) I love her, and I trust her words when she says she's sorry. I've made mistakes too, and we've moved on from them and I'm willing to do the same. I can say I don't care for the person anymore that this happened with, but I'm not going to say anymore than that regarding to them. I'm also not saying what she did was acceptable, and if it happens again I won't be so forgiving, but I understand people make mistakes. People also learn from their mistakes, and I think that's been the case. I love you, I always will.
link1 comment|post comment

Will you stand with me until you fall? [Oct. 5th, 2005|08:43 pm]
rayne_55321
[Mood |boredbored]
[Tunes |Apoptygma Berzerk - Maze]

Haven't updated this in awhile so i figured what better time than now seeing as that i'm bored as shit. Things have been going good lately, I started my 6th quarter at AIP this week. Got some cool classes, especially Intermediate VFX cause we get to do ROTOSCOPING! Fuck yes! I'm really excited about it, I had Video for VFX II this quarter but I dropped because I just wasn't comfortable with the class right now, lot of foreign terms that I should have learned in the first class...oh well I still got a while to go and lots of classes to still take.

Things with Heather have been great! We're getting along better now after all the turbulence we had a few months ago, I think she may be the one. I love her with all my heart, and I look forward to every new day with her by my side. I can't wait till she joins me at AIP next summer! She's a helluva photographer, and I think she'll blow people away at the Art Institute. Hopefully she'll still move in with me after she's done with High school like we have planned. Yeah, parents are in the process of relocating still, I think they're just waiting to sell the house. I'll miss it since we put so much into building our dream house, and now we're selling it to some undeserving pricks. I'll be on my own though so it'll be cool I guess. I'd like to find another job (hopefully movie related cause thats my thing) to pay me alittle better than the one I have now. I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED to upgrade this fn pc, I can't do any work on here and its driving me nuts!

I miss my love so I'm gonna depart soon.

Oh yeh, feel free to call me if any of yuns wanna hang out. (3043744682)
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Sep. 5th, 2005|03:04 pm]
rayne_55321
Take the quiz: "What Star Wars Character Are You?"

Anakin Skywalker
Watch out for your temper...it could get you into trouble the way it did Anakin. You have enormous potential to be a great Jedi, but stress has made the dark side seem that much more inviting...




hmmm interesting...
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Aug. 30th, 2005|12:55 am]
rayne_55321
[Mood |pleasedpleased]
[Tunes |Grendel - Zombie Nation]

Haven't updated in a few weeks, so why not now.

Things have been up and down,as usual, lately in all aspects of my life. School is very stressful now with my VFX classes, I love what I'm learning, which is something I've never been able to say. I'm getting stressed out (at certain times) with the workload because it can be pretty overwhelming but I'm catching on to what I'm doing and learning my way around After Effects so it's all good. I'm looking forward to next quarter because I have Editing for VFX II, Video For Visual Effects II, Storyboarding, and Intermediate VFX 1. Kick ass, no worthless Gen Ed courses! I'm gonna be pulling my hair out for most of the quarter, but its all good. But for now, I'm trying to learn as much as possible for this one, I'm doing this really sweet lightsaber commercial for Broadcast Graphics...I hope it turns out the way I envision. I've learned so much in the past 7 weeks, and I really think I've found my calling.

Other than school, I've been spending time with Heather (Not enough) and working. I'm still me, so there is plenty of movie watching still going on.

Some really sweet CDs are coming out from some of the my favorite bands...
Apoptygma Berzerk - "You and Me Against The World", KMFDM - "Hau Ruck", and 30 Seconds To Mars - "A Beautiful Lie"...I'm definately picking all three of those up ASAP. I've had a Beautiful Lie for a while, but its an amazing CD and I feel obligated to support them since their music and Leto's lyrics have got me through alot of hard times in the past and I'm sure they will in the future. I advise anyone to check them out, hopefully I'll be able to see them at X-fest on the 9th but I'm not sure.

That's it for now, you stay classy San Diego!
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Aug. 10th, 2005|11:48 am]
rayne_55321
[Mood |stressedstressed]
[Tunes |In Strict Confidence - Heaven Is The Place To Be]

Haven't updated in awhile, thought not would be agood time since I have time to kill before my next class. We have midterms this week and it fucking sucks. I got a 3.5 last quarter and I'll be lucky if I get half of that this, its alot harder this quarter. I debate whether I should be here or not.
link1 comment|post comment

(no subject) [Jul. 27th, 2005|12:27 am]
rayne_55321
I officially have the coolest girlfriend EVER! Not only does she make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but she has LIGHT SABER DUELS IN THE MIDDLE OF WALMART! What more could I ask for out of a future wife?

I loooooooooooooooove you!
link2 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Jul. 26th, 2005|12:59 pm]
rayne_55321
[Mood |awakeawake]
[Tunes |Apoptygma Berzerk - In This Together]

Worked Ozzfest the other day. I wasn't a complete virgin since I've been to a few of them, but it was a whole new experience this time around. Almost all of the bands sucked (except for Zombie \\m//) but it was still fun as hell. I worked the pit for the "village of the damned" stage and it was a fucking rush. I got the shit kicked out of me from catching the crowdsurfers..I got my sunglasses knocked off my eyes and they scratched my eyes and I got kicked in the head quite a few times, plus I fucked up my shoulder and back but all in all it was a good time. Helluva lot funner than working at the HDS! The sucky part about it was I didn't get to see Heather the whole day, which was horrible since we see each other every day. I missed her alot, and it was hard. She goes to band camp in the next week and thats gonna be hard, but I love her very much and I'll make it through. I'll just have to keep myself distracted until she comes home because I'll go f'n nuts sitting here by myself. Video games here I come.

We've came to the conclusion that Apop writes songs that exactly describe how we feel about each other, it's crazy how much she and I can relate. The new single "In this together" is fn great!
link1 comment|post comment

(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2005|12:18 pm]
rayne_55321
[Mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[Tunes |NIN - Only]

Greetings ladies and gents. Time for another update on the Chronicles of N8than.

Well I'm done with the first week and half way done with the second of my 5th quarter @ AIP. I got some really cool classes (except for my gen ed) and we're finally starting to learn the VFX programs and i'm pretty excited. I still have 2nd thoughts of what I'm going to be doing when I graduate, because I really want to work for KNB but they're more physical effect related and I'm going for the more digitally oriented. I'm gonna try to take some workshops and what not to try to educate myself so I can get a more universal education on the whole Special Effects field. I think i'll be ok.


Heather and I have really been having our ups and downs lately, which kind of sucks, but good in a way too. We're gonna have our problems, everyone does...but we love each other so much that our relationship will grow stronger, and it has. I've been dealing with alot of issues from the past that I should have taken care of a long time ago, but it took Heather to really open my eyes and see what's really around me. I've been dwelling too much on the past, and its time to let go and move on. I love Heather, and I know she will never hurt so I need to stop being so insecure and trust her. And I do! I trusted her from the beginning, but it wasn't to the extent that it should have been and I was still getting uncomfortable in certain situations. I should have trusted her 100% from the beginning and I realize that now. I love her, and I trust that she would never do anything to hurt me. Trust is vital in a relationship, and I haven't been keeping my end up...but that's all changed. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and start a family, that is my dream. Heather Lynn Englehart...sounds pretty fuckin good to me and she thinks the same! Puts a smile on my face everytime. = )

I love you heather!
link1 comment|post comment

(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2005|09:08 am]
rayne_55321
[Mood |zombified]
[Tunes |Oakenfold - Ready Steady Go]

NEED. CAFFEINE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I hate morning class.

I need to sleep when I get home or i'll slaughter someone tonight at work...atleast I get paid (x2) so that's something to look forward to. Constantine 2-Disc DVD = MINE!
link1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]